Avoiding you, deleting your pictures from my computer,
Blocking you in my e-mail contacts, cutting off every little connection, altogether.
These are the efforts that I’m making, to be able to forget you.
I’d say that I am doing a good job at that.
You don’t hover over my thoughts all day long anymore.
Only sometimes, when I’m in a conversation and suddenly a familiar name comes up,
I think of you, of your smile, of your eyes, of your mysterious voice.
Only sometimes when I have finished watching a movie,
And the credits start rolling up the screen, a much acquainted name grabs my attention.
I then think of you, of your words, of your hands, of your hair.
There are some mornings when I wake up trying to recollect,
A dream that I saw the previous night, and then I realize;
You were all over it, yet nowhere could I see your face.
Only faint words seemed to hit my ears, as if you were calling from far.
Not once did I hear you calling out my name, still I felt you needed me.
I wanted to be by your side, I wanted to comfort you.
Although I knew only too well that this was never to be.
It was only a dream that I wanted to be real,
It was the dream that I wanted to live.
I want to see you, hear your voice, hold your hand.
I want to rest my head upon your shoulder and let myself fall asleep.
Yet here I am, trying in every possible way,
To wipe you out of my memories forever.
I wonder, will I ever succeed in my endeavour?